I watched this video recently about the idea of being creatively satisfied. Which made me question am I?
I think of myself as creative. Over the years I have attempted many forms of creative expression. My first love was music. My second love was a man. My third love was chasing the sensation of wonder and the thrill of adventure. Since then I have found myself trying many new forms of expression and creativity but nothing has ever felt as strong as those first loves.
I get an intense joy in creating but it really never lasts. The older I get the more I realise that I strive to constantly distract myself from an undercurrent of discontent. I am very good at solving problems but not in fact my own. I have lost sight of what I desire, want and need creatively.
Life is a tricky beast, sometimes it needs deep reflection. I'm still searching for a way to soothe the discontent. Maybe that is part and parcel with being a creative person? I am not entirely sure if it can ever be calmed.
Maybe my soul is crying out for the things that it cherishes most and I haven't found them yet? All that is left is the distance I have created. Maybe the neglect of my true passion has meant that I have wandered into this wilderness. Maybe all I need to do is just write a simple song.
